With the Afghan elections over, Afghanistan now becomes the first and
largest democratic Narco-State in the world!
This is, I suppose, cause for some celebratory writing. Poems.
Novels. Plays. And, to that end I have written the "playlet" which
follows:
SHOELESS OMAR VOTES! a playlet.
Scenario: An Afghan village near where the two large rocks nearly
block the stream, about a half day's walk from where the Old Goat
Market used to be. There is a card table, with an "election
official" seated behind it. In the viliage, women, young and
old, are washing clothes in the stream. Some older men are sitting
in a circle smoking the "local weed." Children are running in
circles playing. Younger men are gathered around the election
official's table.
Characters: Shoeless Omar: a thrity something married man from the
village. And Offical from Kabul and his aides de camp.
OFFICIAL: Come gentlemen! Today is election day, God willing! Cast
you votes for who will run your nation.
OMAR: Well, what are these things? (pointing to the ballots). Why
do we need this. I can't read or write, and I already know who runs
my village. It's My Grandfather. And, my uncle runs our Clan.
OFFICIAL: Yes, but did you vote for them? Here look at the ballot,
it has pictures too.
OMAR: (Looking at a ballot) Who is this man? His he Uzbek?
OFFICIAL: No, he's a Tajik.....He wants to run your province.
OMAR: But, I am Pahstoon; why do I need a Tajik to tell me what to
do. My Clan has run this place for hundreds of years. These are our
poppy fields. They belong to my Famliy and the Clan.
OFFICIAL: Yes, but you need a govenrment in Kabul.
OMAR: Yes, the King is gone. Do you mean the American Overlord,
Karazi?
OFFICIAL: Yes, Karazi, the great American-backed, War Lord from
Kabul.
OMAR: Well, will Karazi try to destroy the poppy fields, like the
Taliban did?
OFFICIAL: No, I don't think so.
OMAR: Will Mr. Karazi demand his taxes paid in cash; or will he take
Heroin for payment, like the Taliban did?
OFFICIAL: Well, let's just say, something can be arranged.
But remember Karazi, and his American friends, will re-build this
country. They will build a large oil and gas pipeline across
Afhanistan....you will be able to work for cash wages!
OMAR: Well, my wife is always complaining about here clothes. She
goss to the other women in the village, and says: "Look at my Burka!
It's a filty rag! It's full of holes! It's falling apart. This is
all my husband gives me! I might as well walk around the village
totally naked!
OFFICIAL: Mr Karazi and the Americans will build a telephone system,
and improve the roads, to help with building the pipeline. Your wife
can call her mother in the next village, instead of bringing her here
to visit!
OMAR: Hmmm.....the last time that old bag came here, she stayed for
three whole months! And ,all she did was bitch, bitch, bitch! The
skillet is rusty! The kids are dirty! Your wife's Burka has holes
in it! She's nearly naked! I swear to Allah on this!
OFFICIAL: Then, it sounds like Karazi is your man! Make on "x"
right here by the picture.
OMAR: Well, OK. If you think it will help things around here.
But Mr Karazi will tell the Americans to leave us alone, right?
And, Mr Karazi won't mess with our poppy fields, like the Taliban,
right?
OFFICIAL: Right....
(Everyone laughs and nods in approval)
CURTAIN.
